i think the theme and styling and tone is excellent
A half length with that sort of pose and umbrella in the shot tends to lead someone to believe the shot was framed quickly, it looks just chopped off
A setup shot like this would work better full length showing the umbrella
and if the umbrella was featured maybe align the tip of it to her feet
i can see why you choose this off balance composition to fill the frame a little
but it can be achieved in other ways like her tilting down or adding a chair so the
model can rest one leg on it then hold the umbrella in the other hand, this will compact the pose and fill most of the frame
full length isn't easy as you really have to nail down the pose otherwise it just looks wrong
expression isn't as good as your last shot of the same girl, which i have to say was wonderful
but perhaps the expression fits in with your theme?